On February 15, Iraq War veteran Richard Miles entered a U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs hospital in Des Moines, Iowa, and told the staff: “I need help,” according to hospital records obtained by CNN.
He had told friends he was going to check himself in. He was diagnosed with “worsened PTSD,” anxiety and insomnia, but Miles was not admitted to the hospital.
Five days later the 40-year-old father was found dead in the woods, having taken a toxic amount of sleeping pills, according to a toxicology report obtained by CNN. He died from exposure to the elements.
Now those who loved him want to know why the VA hospital did not admit him when he showed up that night.
“That was his cry for help and it was not taken seriously or received the way it should have been received,” said Katie Hopper, his ex-girlfriend and mother to their daughter Emmalynn.
Miles was one of the premiere presenters at the Science Center of Iowa, a beloved employee popular with the staff and guests.
“He was passionate and knowledgeable about science himself and it went beyond that. His passion extended to sharing that knowledge with others,” said Science Center of Iowa President and CEO Curt Simmons. Miles’ image was featured prominently in YouTube videos and advertisements for the museum; a large photograph bearing his image stands outside the center.
What this popular Iraq war veteran did not share with most, is that he suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD.
“He knew the date, and where he was when he had shot and killed people in the war,” says Hopper. “He was very, very aware of what he was doing, that he was ending people’s lives, even if it was for the greater good.” The memory of an interrogation incident with a frail, old Iraqi man upset him quite a bit, she recalled.
Medical records obtained by CNN state that after Miles returned from Iraq in 2004, he “began to experience depression with suicidal attempts.” He recalled seeing dead bodies, and often had graphic, violent dreams.
One record from 2011 says Miles “described onset of anger, outburst and irritability beginning after his return from deployment in Iraq during October 2004.” He “recalled his war related experiences about ‘being on alert and seeing dead bodies.’ He further noted sleep disturbance with troublesome dreams ‘about combat and military-related content.'”
Miles had “many dreams about death and violence,” the records state. “The dreams are graphic and often involve themes of needing to protect someone, and an outcome of killing someone in the course of protecting someone else. Mr. Miles awakens from the dreams anxious and sad. This occurs 2-3 times per week.”
Friends and family saw Miles struggle with his PTSD, but say he was doing generally fine until January, when he disappeared. A missing person report was filed with local law enforcement.
He finally responded days later to friends such as Harry Aller, who had sent Miles text messages.
“He wrote back … ‘I didn’t mean to get people worried I just need to spend some time at the hospital to figure things out,'” Aller said.
Thankfully, Miles returned, and chose to stay with Hopper.
“I said do you feel like you need to get out of the house, do you want to go for a drive, do you want to go for a walk? He said, ‘ No, I’m going to go to the VA.’ Right now? ‘Yeah, right now,'” Hopper said.
“He had to be of in a place where he was going to harm himself, mentally. And the thought of that would lead him to want to get help because he would be letting down his daughter, his son, his friends, and that was not an option for him,” said Aller.
On February 15, Miles left several of his belongings with Hopper and went to the hospital. It was a familiar place to the veteran whose medical records show a long history of suicidal acts and thoughts.
He’d been hospitalized at the Iowa VA hospital four times for PTSD between 2008 and 2009, after he “made 2 attempts to hang himself,” according to records. At one point he had brought a gun into a different hospital ward planning to kill himself.
Records show friends called the VA to look for him and later filed a missing persons report with local law enforcement.
Files from that day show Miles told the hospital attendant he needed help. When the attending doctor asked him whether he was a danger to himself, Miles responded, “No, I won’t harm myself, but I do need some medicine so I can just rest,” according to the notes.
“He came home about three hours later,” said Hopper, who was surprised at the quick return. “I thought you were going to be days or weeks even,” she recalled saying to him.
“He said, ‘Yeah, me too, but they just gave me medication and sent me home, said my psychiatrist would follow up with me this week to set up an appointment,'” she said.
Miles did not make it that long. A few days later, after giving Emmalynn a big hug goodbye, he instead walked into the woods — where he and Hopper used to go — and never came back.
The toxicology report shows Miles had ingested a toxic but not fatal number number of lorazepam sleeping pills, which he had been prescribed just a few days before at the VA, and froze to death.
His was found with no jacket, no shoes, and most infuriatingly, no clear reason why his life had to end like this.
“The VA failed him. They failed him,” said Hopper.
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